NPS Diaries

Capital Punishment

I’m usually not the violent sort of guy but I must confess that I got a little carried away by the ‘Siddharth Brahma’ challenge, while back in school. For the uninitiated, Siddharth Brahma was a year junior and is 6ft 3’ 220 lb, bibendum like man who could readily be substituted as the Michelin logo. I’m a little hazy about the sequence of events but I shall put it down as I recall. The teacher’s day celebrations had just concluded and we were given a pre-poned short-break before the 4th period began. The trails for the house basketball matches had just concluded the previous day and in the Challengers vs Voyagers trial, I had successfully checked (much to his embarrassment) a Brahma shot. I remember getting into an argument with Pranay Shetty and Kunal Mukherjee in which I (in retrospect) foolishly boasted about overpowering Brahma. Being skilled agent provocateurs, with a sharp eye for popularity, both Brat and Kundol ensured that the words reached Brahma’s ears. In a flash, a crowd had gathered engulfing myself and Brahma in a human ring with chants of ‘Give us a fight, Give us a fight!’ all this in a snap of 2 to 3 mins and then before I could explain the context in which I made the statement, Brahma grabbed me by my collar and flung me towards the neatly lined lunch baskets. I barely managed to restore my balance and land on my feet. I quickly went into damage control mode by waving my white handkerchief as a peace flag, much to the amusement of the gathered crowd. This is called objective-oriented non-violence. 

Toast Master’s club 

I don't mind admitting that there are some moments which words can never hope to capture. 

One such genuinely classic moment was when Rahul R was named school prefect. The now recluse, erstwhile ‘School Prefect’ addressed the assembled dignitaries at the investiture ceremony in exceptionally personal terms expressing his surprise that he was chosen for the post. Dramatically, he produced a piece of paper neatly folded in four parts and held it aloft. Voice choked, eyes moist, head bowed, he told NPSites the noble traits they must embrace with insincere poignancy. It contained the words of the WWE wrestler Kurt Angle “Integrity, blah blah..” Bear now would be pleased to know that the West has a nice new artistic phrase for such speeches. It's called the Picasso Defence: you throw it all up against the canvas, and see what sticks. From courtship to con, art does have unusual uses.

Puerile Puppet Shows

School fests were an integral part of our times at NPS. One of the oft repeated rituals had to be half a dozen school kids standing, neatly line outside Shanti Ma’ams’ office requesting her to give them a letter stating that they have been officially chosen to represent the school (read bunk class, have fun and possibly earn money) for NIE Funfest/Cascades/etc. We all have our pet hates at fests and being a quizzing aficionado, mine by a mile is Antakshari. 

One could complaint of sore grapes (No offence Risha and Barsha who were champs at it) but I’ve even heard Karthik Raveendran wishfully remark “Oh! I should have pick up Antakshri. That way I too like Barsha, would have a shot at the Rs 2 lacs jackpot!”  That bright, intelligent, vivacious young boys and girls of sane mind have to cram up Hindi film songs and then compete against each other seems to me a criminal waste of time. These antaksharis are fronted by vacuous hosts who reduce the proceedings to a farce as they spur rival teams in a phony contest. Don't be fooled by the audience appearing to be absorbed; this is provoked by off-camera handlers who tutor them with cards which read, 'clap', 'sway', 'sing', 'whistle'.

The author is a bon vivant and professional people watcher.